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when you wanna die but you got a 9 a​.​m.

from the flat stanleys by The Flat Stanleys

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lyrics by Brian (special thanks to Jason, Meghan, and Carlo for not letting me die. happy birthday Jason)

lyrics

Late night conversations turn to late night drinks
as I crawl on hands and knees
to someone else's arms
and we'll both close our eyes
and pretend that I'm not me
but then I open my eyes and I'm alone in my room again
with screenshots of conversations that we had when I didn't introduce you as "my friend"

and I will help you look at schools
and I will help you plan your future
the one that doesn't involve me in any sense
but that's your right
and I will help you sleep at night
at the expense of my own body
but every day only feels okay
until I wake up in the morning

this double twin bed swallows me whole
the jersey sheets become my lifeline
thank you Carlo, Jason, and Meghan
and anyone else who was around
when I was lying on the bathroom floor
and then sky became the ground

it's not my time, it's not my time.
not quite yet.

nothing is that bad, not really, you tell me
as I sit alone in bed and try to make sense
of the dots on the ceiling
soon they'll become mountains
and my eyes will put off the climb
that I know that I must make
but not quite yet, I'm not prepared
I need to do my laundry and cut my hair

I need to acknowledge all the things I can't ignore anymore
like my cut off shorts and the
box of nicotine patches
that's always empty and lying on my desk.
but not quite yet.

these words have so little meaning, anyway.
you remind me as I walk back to my place.
through the crowds of everyone that you thought I could be.
but that's not me, that's not me, not really.

nothing is that bad not really
you tell me as I sit alone in bed.
nothing is that bad not really
you tell me as I sit alone in nothing
is that bad? not really.
you tell me as I sit alone in (bed) nothing
is that bad? not really you tell me
as I sit alone in bed

credits

from the flat stanleys, released October 5, 2016

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The Flat Stanleys Maryland

don't take this too seriously. also don't take this too not seriously.

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